WHY SOME CELEBRANTS DO “SO MANY WEDDINGS” … AND WHY IT DOESN’T MATTER
In the coming weeks, Data NZ will likely release a list containing the names of every independent celebrant in New Zealand – and the number of weddings they officiated between October 2023 and September 2024 (the celebrant year according to renewals).
This list is public information, and allows anyone to download the list and search celebrants by name, postcode and number of weddings.
But why do they print this list? Why do they only go back as far as 2018?
AND WHY SHOULD YOU TAKE THIS INFORMATION WITH A GRAIN OF SALT?
In 2018 some curious celebrants began to question where they sat in comparison to others in their region – how did the number of ceremonies they were performing compare to those around them? Were they killing it in the biz, or were they dragging behind?
And so started a trend of public information requests. Who were the top in their region? How about this region? And here? And who were the top celebrants nationwide (based on numbers)?
This information, whilst free and public, cost money and time to collate. And so, the annual list was born – a quick, easy way for all celebrants to find out how they compared, how many weddings they’d done, and the numbers of others both regionally and across the motu.
‘Compared’
We all know how The Celebrant Guide feels about natty competition – we’re not big fans of it (unless it’s NZ Bird of the Year because we are obsessed …)
Whilst we appreciate the curiosity and the interest in knowing how your business stacks up against those around you, another thing we’re not big fans of is why this list needs to be released at all.
With each year that passes the anticipation for the release of the list grows, and from a mental health perspective, it’s simply not a positive thing.
And then when it gets released, it will get shared on social media, both privately within the celebrant world and publicly as a “marketing” tool, and this is where, we think, the problems begin:
THE COMMENTS
“why is she doing so many? She’s clearly besties with BDM …” “why did he get so high on the list? Obviously, he’s doing something dodgy …” “I don’t even care, why would I even want to do that many?”
THE COMPARISONS
“Oh man, I thought I was killing it this year but look how many she did” “What am I doing wrong?” “Why don’t more people like me?”
THE GAMES
“If I undercut him, maybe I’ll edge past him on the list” “I’m sick but I can’t pass this wedding to her, or she will get higher than me.”
THE ONE THING THAT DOESN’T SEEM TO BE OVERLY DISCUSSED, HOWEVER, ARE THE FACTORS SURROUNDING THE NUMBERS ON THE LIST, OF WHICH THERE ARE MANY, AND MOST OF WHICH YOU CAN’T EASILY CHANGE:
Location - in the top ten, you can guarantee it’ll likely be a split of 70/30 between Queenstown/Wãnaka and Auckland. Why? Location. It’s where most weddings in New Zealand take place and it’s where people get married every day of the week and in every season of the year consistently.
VCANZ –if you are a VCANZ celebrant, you will be getting the registry ceremonies, again many of which are very popular in Auckland particularly (and which occur Monday - Friday throughout the year, excluding public holidays and the Christmas/NY blockout period)
Other jobs/commitments – for some celebrants, doing weddings is a full-time job. For others, they work full time and it’s more of a side-gig. Maybe they’ve got small children, busy school children, or a sick whãnau member.
Life – For some, life genuinely just gets in the way. Perhaps an injury took them out of weddings for 6 months, or they moved to a new city and needed to build up bookings from scratch. For others, they prefer life to get in the way, maintaining an awesome work-life balance that so many of us strive to achieve.
Choice – perhaps you’ve made the active choice that one wedding a month is enough. Or maybe five in a season is a nice, manageable number for you.
Price – perhaps you charge more than the other celebrants around you (in which case, yay you! Know your worth!) meaning that you get less weddings but paid the same. It’s all about balance.
Funerals and other ceremonies – the number of other ceremonies you do throughout the year won’t feature on this list – funerals, vow renewals, baby naming ceremonies, divorce parties, pet weddings …
At the end of the day, the numbers themselves don’t matter – and they certainly only tell part of the story. And from personal experience, we can attest to the fact that being at the top of the list doesn’t make us love it any more – in fact, we don’t like the list at all. Because we, like most celebrants, don’t do this for the numbers – we do it for the love of it. Full stop. End of story.
So, if you’ve done 100 weddings – amazing! That’s 200 people whose day you’ve made! If you’ve done 10 weddings – amazing! That’s 20 people whose day you’ve made! If you’ve done one wedding – amazing! That’s two people whose day you’ve made!
Do you see the pattern …?
And if you’re just starting out, don’t use this list as a benchmark or something to aim for – just do the best that you can do, in your location with your awesome set of skills and work-life balance criteria, and the rest will fall in place.
And so, when this list comes out, just think twice before sharing it. Be proud of your achievements, for sure! But also consider how others might feel. One final point: our couples probably don’t really care how many people we’ve married this calendar year, they just care that we make them feel special on their big day.
And look after yourself when you read the list too, because no matter how “big” (in numbers) your contribution is to the wedding world, it matters!
